#4 What Are Your Non-Negotiables?

Finding life balance can be a little difficult at times! I’m a life coach, so I should have that all worked out, right? Uuuuuhhhhh--Yeah, Right (chuckle). However, what I have learned through coaching is that we all have to stick to our non-negotiables.

Non-negotiables are the little and sometimes big things that we set-up in our lives to create more balance, fun, peace of mind or just plain happiness. As an example, here are 2 of my non-negotiables that keep me from going a little crazy:

#1). Sundays are non-negotiable. Unless its something fun with friends or family, Sunday’s are simply off limits for any type of housework---no cooking, cleaning, laundry—nothing. It’s simply a day that I can do nothing—or do whatever I want to do that does not involve work! On Sundays I love going to church, going home to nap afterwards and then watch movies all day. It may sound boring to some, but this Sunday is couch potato day!!

#2). If you drain me, you have to go! I simply cannot have drama in my life—from NO ONE—family, friends, Co-Workers—No Way. Now there are times when we simply can’t avoid some drama-ful situations in our life—but if it isn’t necessary—then please do not disrupt my zen from within!

Decide on what matters in your life! Before I came up with my Sunday-Non-Negotiable day, I was stressing myself out trying to get the house in perfect order before my work week. Not to mention I would take work from my job and do that on Sunday’s as well. I went to bed stressed every Sunday night for a few years. There was no rule that said I had to do this every Sunday, but it was a rule I made for myself. Enough already!!--I needed to stop waking up on Monday mornings stressed out! So, I broke that rule and now my Sunday’s are non-negotiable-that means no more working—just Chill-laxing!! (I like that word!!)

Create your Non-Negotiables today by simply considering the following:

1). What is most important to you right now?

2). Which of these do you need right now? Peace, Fun, Family Time?

3). What self-made rule can you break that will provide more balance in your life?

We can all use a little bit of non-negotiation with ourselves!! Take a moment to create your non-negotiables! Drop me a line if you’d like to share yours!!
Post a comment or e-mail me at: themochalifecoach@gmail.com.

Mocha Spotlight: Life Editing with Tiya!

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a successful Certified Relationship Coach specializing in coaching couples and parents with teens. She started on this journey in 2005 after watching a reality show that focused on helping women start over. Her passion quickly became her profession and Mrs. Sumter became certified and created the Life Editing Personal Coaching Service in 2006. Life Editing helps individuals and families rewrite their lives to reflect their dreams. Life Editing offers one-on-one, group and family coaching in addition to workshops and retreats. Mrs. Sumter is dedicated to helping people take better care of their relationships.

The Life Editing approach to coaching has been featured in Ebony Magazine, on The Love Coach radio show, Community Central radio and television networks as well as The Christian Wives Club radio show.

In addition to coaching, Tiya is the creator of the Black Wives Club social network and blog and the Women's Ministry Director of Family of Faith Community Church in Chicago. She has been happily married for 11 years and is the mother of two fabulous little girls.

You can reach Tiya by visiting her websites!!
www.LifeEditing.com and www.blackwivesclub.wordpress.com

Essence: The May Issue

First Lady Michelle Obama and her Mom Marion Robinson are pictured together on the cover of the May issue of Essence! Simply Fabulous!

#3 Getting Off Your Butt Takes Self-Discipline!

I'm a new mom with a 4-month old and yesterday I decided to start doing some exercising & healthy eating---like no more chips, cookies & cheese cake (my favorite)---only healthy food! I need to get off my butt and exercise so that I can lose this post-baby-belly-pouch!! I'm ready to go!!! Super Excited, because I wanna wear my swimsuit this summer!!

So this is how my 1st day went:

The Morning: This is going to be great Oatmeal! Positive Attitude: Say Yummy!!
The Mid-Morning: I think I need a snack, but I'll get yogurt and not cookies! :-)
Early Afternoon: My Tummy is growling! Raisins Anyone?
Mid Afternoon: Day-Dreaming of French Fries! Or anything Fried!!
Late Afternoon: At work--STRESSED--I can't take it!! Vending Machine!!
Evening: Exercise--huh?? I'll just watch this Hip-Hop Abs Infomercial.

I just can't do it--then I thought wait a minute-Do I have Self-Discipline or what?

Well, just as I said that, I had a flashback!! When I was in junior high school, my band teacher would assign 500 lines to anyone in class who was talking when they should have been paying attention to him!! I like to run my mouth--so I was averaging 4,000 lines a month! 500 lines--twice a week (that darn Mr. Chavis!!) We had to write this statement 500 times for homework:

SELF-DISCIPLINE--The control of one's actions for the sake of improvement!

Soooooooooooooo, I guess if I want to improve my post-baby-belly-pouch and whip myself into shape---its going to take some Self-Discipline!

Self-Discipline---How do I do that?? It simply takes practice--just like with any good habit or bad habit that we create in our lives. Its something that is done over and over again. It won't happen over night, but we must remind ourselves that self-discipline is for the SAKE OF IMPROVEMENT!

So, I guess I will use some of this self-discipline and go back to this exercising and healthy eating plan! I'll keep you posted!

CONTACT ME :-)

Got Questions?

Just want to say Hi?

Interested in Coaching?

(ONLINE COACHING SERVICES COMING SOON!)

CONTACT ME AT ANYTIME:
themochalifecoach@gmail.com

www.Lifeediting.com

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a successful Certified Relationship Coach specializing in coaching couples and parents with teens. She started on this journey in 2005 after watching a reality show that focused on helping women start over. Her passion quickly became her profession and Mrs. Sumter became certified and created the Life Editing Personal Coaching Service in 2006. Life Editing helps individuals and families rewrite their lives to reflect their dreams.

Life Editing offers one-on-one, group and family coaching in addition to workshops and retreats. Mrs. Sumter is dedicated to helping people take better care of their relationships.

The Life Editing approach to coaching has been featured in Ebony Magazine, on The Love Coach radio show, Community Central radio and television networks as well as The Christian Wives Club radio show.

In addition to coaching, Tiya is the creator of the Black Wives Club social network and blog and the Women's Ministry Director of Family of Faith Community Church in Chicago. She has been happily married for 11 years and is the mother of two fabulous little girls.

You can reach Tiya by visiting her websites!
LifeEditing.com and www.blackwivesclub.wordpress.com

Inspiration

Sharing A Cup of Inspiration is a Joy for me!

Stop by often to be inspired!

What Exactly is Life Coaching?

Do you ever find that you are unfulfilled in certain areas of your life?

Do you have goals that are still stuck on your "TO-DO" List?

Are you lacking the confidence to truly be your Authentic Self?

Well, that's where Life Coaching can help! Life Coaching can offer the extra kick that you need in order to live your life to the fullest and move forward in achieving the goals that are still stuck on your TO-DO-list!

We can all write a list of things that we want from life and goals that we want to achieve. Making a list is the easy part!!

1). Start a business
2). More Happiness
3). Peace of Mind
4). Travel to Europe
5). Learn How to Play Piano

For some of us, the hardest part of the list is where to begin and how to stay motivated!

A Life Coach is not a doctor, psychiatrist, or a counselor. A Life Coach is someone that can give you a better perspective on life by helping you to use the strength on the inside of you to become “unstuck”. Action plans are easy to put together, but a Life Coach will encourage you to follow through and hold you accountable. Daydreaming about your vision for life is great, but a Life Coach can work with you to help your vision become a reality.

All of us can use a little bit of Life Coaching to help us take our lives to the next level. It can help you become the person that you truly want to be!

ONLINE COACHING SERVICES COMING SOON!!

The Mocha Coach

Hello Everyone!

I am so happy that you found my blog!! I am pretty new to the blogging world (Oficially Blogging here since April of 09) Send me a comment and let me know if you like what you read! Become a follower and feel free to grab my button!!

:-)

I'm a Blog-a-holic-Cafe Mocha Latte-Lovin'-First-Time Mommie to a Beautiful Son, Wife to an Amazing Husband, Mentor, Daughter, Sister and now my new hat--Empowerment Life Coach!! I started this blog because I love, love, love to encourage others to be fearless when it comes to walking in their true purpose. There is nothing like waking up in the morning knowing that you are doing what you were divinely called to do (or working towards it) and enjoying it along the way!! I received my certification through The Institute for Professional & Empowerment Coaching.
ipeccoaching.com

#2 Add a Moment of HAPPINESS To Your To-Do-List!

TO-DO-Lists never seem to end!!

1). Do This
2). Do That
3). Go Here
4). Go There
5). Do This Again.....

One thing that we often forget to put on the list is to simply Be Happy!!

Let's face it---Life keeps us all pretty busy! Work, School, Screaming Kids, Grocery Shopping, Cooking, Cleaning, Paying Bills and Running Errands. Sometimes our "to-do" list does nothing but stress us out!! On top of that, so many things can happen during the day that are simply beyond our control----the car breaks down, the kids get sick, your boss screams at you........its never ending!!

For some of us, simply taking a moment to be consciously happy can be a hard thing to do while trying to juggle and balance the demands and daily stresses of life. This can often keep us in an automatic default mode of constant crankiness, moodiness or just plain un-satisfaction (I've been there!!). However, when we make a conscious effort to be happy-----even if it means putting it on your to-do-list, it can certainly make a ton of difference in your day!

So, if I put happiness at the top of the list, just how do I get that done? (I'm so glad you asked!!!) Its simple---You create the happiness! It does not have to be hard or take up a lot of time......and when you choose to do so, it can have a great impact on the rest of your day.

Here are a few plain and simple things you can do to BE HAPPY:

1). Smile (For no reason)
2). Laugh (out loud)
3). Sing your favorite song (very loud in the shower)
4). Go for a walk (count your blessings along the way)
5). Paint your toenails and watch them dry (make sure its a bright happy color)

While you write your TO-DO-LIST today, hum this song to yourself:
Don't Worry--Be Happy!!!

:-)

#1: Find Your Purpose in Service!!

President Barack Obama strongly believes that Americans have a responsibility to help our communities by lending a hand and volunteering. I believe this 100%.

Several years ago, I found myself in a terrible funk. I was in living in Los Angeles and had recently left a dream job in the entertainment industry because I was burnt out after working 18 hours or more a day. Just one year into this dream job I wasn't having fun anymore because of the stress involved and I just couldn't figure out where was the balance between my life and my career. Not to mention that I hated being in L.A!! I felt like I was in a mid-twenties crisis. I was super hard on myself--Dream Job, Great City, I Should be Completely Happy--(I know you are thinking---what was wrong with me)??

When I quit my job--EVERYONE looked at me like I was just plain stupid for leaving a job where I got to hang out with so many celebrities on a regular basis. The problem was---this job was not my purpose and although it taught me a few lessons along the way, I had to take a moment to find out what my purpose really was. Well, I took some time off to discover what I wanted to do with my life and began to live off of my savings......not the greatest plan at the time.....because I ended up broke & I couldn't find a decent job once my savings ran out. Me + Broke + No Career + Not Knowing My Unique Purpose at that time meant Depression & Failure for me.

Long story short---I left L.A. & moved back home to the other LA---"Louisiana". Spent some time with my family to clear my head----and then moved to Chicago. A new start in a new city was what I needed!! Chicago was great and I could figure out my purpose in the Windy City!! Right??

WRONG! I only slipped further into a depression because I didn't know what I should be doing with my life----my career title was always the label and identity of who I was to those around me. So, I took another job that was just as draining, stressful and I started having migraines that sent me to the hospital over and over again!! I, once again, told no-one that I was completely depressed, because I felt like the job I had was not meaningful. Just get another job, right?? Its not always that easy--at least it was not for me.

Something had to give--I began to work through my issues with lots of prayer and decided that I could not go on living by the mantra of "WOE IS ME!!" One day I decided to stop thinking about myself and my career. I signed up to volunteer to mentor young girls!! It was a program that my sorority offered and it was in great need of volunteers. This was the turning point for me!! I know you may be thinking that there are worse problems in the world than not knowing what your purpose is. But, for me, that is truly one of the most important things that you can discover in your lifetime: Your Purpose in Life!! Purpose was something that I began to search for the minute I graduated college....(whew...a long time ago)!

Its been 2 years since I started volunteering and I am now one of the co-chairs of the program. Its a lot of work to attend 3 Saturdays a month--especially with my new son, but it is one of the most rewarding experiences of my life!



My son tags along with me on Saturdays. I want to teach him the importance of service at a young age. Since I started volunteering, I became a certified life coach, because I want to continue to work with teens and young women. Even though I still have a full-time job outside of coaching (one of which I love now), I know now that this is my true purpose in life. So, the moral of the story is that you truly never know what you will find out about yourself or your purpose in life while serving others!!

Lean a Hand, Volunteer, and You Might Discover Your Purpose Through Service Too!!

Volunteer Match
www.volunteermatch.org

National Cares Mentoring Movement
www.caresmentoring.com

Big Brothers Big Sisters
www.bbbs.org

YMCA
www.ymca.net